Telecommuter Appreciation Week February 26 – March 4
Celebrates those of us with home offices who as you read this, are sitting in our pajamas at 4 pm on a Monday afternoon, reading “Betty & Veronica” comicbooks and waiting for “King Of Queens” to come on in an hour. ATA@yourATA.com
American Red Cross Month March 1-31
Beer Day in Iceland March 1
Might be fun to call a bar in Reykjavik and join the festivities.
Zero Discrimination Day March 1
Plan A Solo Vacation Day March 1
www.solotravelportal.com is the homebase for all of us who enjoy getting away, locking ourselves in a room at the La Quinta with a six pack and whatever is on the Lodgenet.
National Write A Letter Of Appreciation Week March 1-7
I guess swearing is grossly inappropriate in these forms of correspondence. Which is half the fun of complaining. Call Larry McManus at 815-344-4934.
International Mirth Month March 1-31
Honoring one of the all-time great talk show hosts, Mirth Griffen, this month also focuses the ability of humor and mirth to get us through the not-so-funny times. Like this e-mail. Call Allen Klein 415-431-1913.
Employee Spirit Month March 1-31
Maintenance Division, 3rd Shift Weekends has spirit, yes we do, Maintenance Division, 3rd Shift Weekends has spirit, how ‘bout you?! www.confidencecenter.com
Lindbergh Kidnapping Anniversary March 1
On this date in 1932 the son of Charles Lindbergh was kidnapped and murdered. Bruno Hauptmann was convicted and executed following the Trial Of The Century. At least until OJ.
National Multiple Sclerosis Education and Awareness Month March 1-31
National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month March 1-31
Mad For Plaid Month March 1-31
The Fashion Committee for the National Arts Club in New York came up with this description: This month celebrates the history and allure of plaid from madras to tartan to gingham to check, to the most popular, Black Watch. Events: what’s trending now; how to mix plaid with other patterns; how to incorporate plaid into a work, weekend and formal-wear wardrobe; why plaid has endured for 15 centuries and plaid as a cultural icon.
National Horse Protection Day March 1
A day to call attention to abuse and neglect of our equine friends. www.nationalhorseprotectionday
National Ghostwriters Week March 1-7
Not only are over 50% of all books ghostwritten, so are other things that you might read every day. My name is Bel and I’m Paige’s exchange student from Brazil. The day after I got here, he pulled me out of school and started me writing his daily stuff for this and All Access. I’m not supposed to tell anyone or he won’t let me wear clothes around the house. Please call the authorities, wait, oh God, he’s coming. Please send hel
Music In Our Schools Month March 1-31
Calls attention to the role of music education in a balanced curriculum. Call 800-336-3768.
National Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Month March 1-31
Sponsored by the Association of the same name. 816-313-2000.
National Frozen Food Month March 1-31
My favorite part of TV dinners? Picking the vegetables out of the apple cobbler. 717-657-8601
National Caffeine Awareness Month March 1-31
Ifff myy hannnnnndsss weeerreeen’t shakkkking so muuuuuch, I’d writtttteee moooooooore. Callllllll 718-670-7263.
Play The Recorder Month March 1-31
If anything can summon up a 4th grade flashback, it’s the damned recorder. True story. The second Fugitive in Minneapolis was in that Aerosmith “Armageddon” video. It was shot in the Twin Cities. When she filled out the audition form, it asked if she played an instrument. She wrote down “recorder”…and got in. Call 303-347-1120
Sing With Your Child Month March 1-31
National Umbrella Month March 1-31
Thomas Edward Knibbs of Frederick, Maryland is obsessed with umbrellas. I bet he has a lot of cats too. He’d suck the life out of a party in under a minute, wouldn’t you think? Call him at 301-695-6364.
National Nutrition Month March 1-31
Now is the time to buy up all of the tabloids, get their monthly “miracle” diets and stick one listener on each diet to see which tabloid wins. The winner should get a gourmet weekend at some resort and the losers should all get subscriptions to their respective tabloids. Call the National Center For Nutrition and Dietetics at 312-899-0040.
National Pig Day March 1
Though this was intended to pay homage to man’s most intelligent and domesticated animal, it has other applications. Have women call in and nominate ex-husbands and boyfriends as Pig Of The Year. Categories could include “Lamest Attempt To Conceal Infidelities”. Getting back to the swine, Ellen Stanley loves her pigs and will tell you all about them. 806-792-5675.
Poison Prevention Awareness Month March 1-31
Still one of the great hair bands of the late 80’s, so I don’t see what all the fuss is about. What? Oh, uh, never mind. A great topic that will get the attention of parents. Call 415-479-8628.
Optimism Month March 1-31
This is it. This is going to be the month I turn things around. Why? I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me. Call Dr. Michael Mercer at 847-382-0690.
Ke$ha Turns 30!!! And Justin Bieber Turns 23!!!! March 1
National Cheerleading Week March 1-7
Bonus points to anyone who can tie this in with Colorectal Cancer Month. E-mail Linda Lundy for the scoop at Linda@unitedcheer.com or call 281-399-8357.
National Peanut Month March 1-31
World Compliment Day March 1
Another day for really cheerful people. www.worldcomplimentday.com
Dr. Seuss’ Birthday March 2, 1904 (Born Theodore Geisel)
I love to read the daily stuff. I love it when I’m feeling gruff, I do not loath that boy named Paige; it’s Clifton that puts me in a rage, etc. etc. ad nauseum.
NEA’s Read Across America Day March 2
Annually on Dr. Seuss’s birthday. www.nea.org/readacross
What If Cats And Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day March 3
The self-gratification possibilities are mind-boggling. Except for that, I could really care. Call the Roys at 717-279-0184.
Dress In Blue Day March 3
Wear blue to support the fight against colon cancer. www.ccalliance.org/dressinblueday
Martyrs Day in the Nation of Malawi March 3
National Anthem Day March 3
On this date in 1931, President Herbert Hoover signed a bill designating “The Star Spangled Banner” as our National Anthem. Sporting events have never been the same since.
Tim Kazurinsky Turns 67!! and David Faustino Turns 43!! March 3
Sock Monkey Day March 4
National Grammar Day March 4
Ungood grammar done tick me off. www.nationalgrammarday.org
People Magazine First Published: Anniversary March 4, 1974 with Mia Farrow on the cover
Catherine O’Hara Turns 63!!!! March 4
Celebrate Your Name Week March 5-11
For someone who encourages you to research your name, it’s origins and it’s meaning, “Jerry Hill” has a rather boring one. firstname.lastname@example.org
Return The Borrowed Books Week March 5-11
Reminds you to go through your book shelf and return all of your borrowed books to people that are anxiously awaiting them. This is sponsored by the Global Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty To Cartoonists. Call Al Kaelin at 323-221-7909
Read An eBook Week March 5-11
National Procrastination Week March 5-11
I was going to write about this last month but time just kind of slipped away on me. Hope you can still have some fun with it. Call Les Waas at 215-947-9020.
National School Breakfast Week March 5-11
Billy Burke did this at Z-90. He and his partner dressed up as lunch ladies, complete with a fake wart on the end of their noses, and helped feed kids at a school cafeteria. If you don’t want to lower yourself to this level, why not get some of these un-sung heroes of the lunch room and do a competition during morning drive. Crown a Ms. School Lunch Lady. The trophy of course would be one of those clear plastic gloves…bronzed. For info call 703-739-3900.
World Day Of Prayer March 6
Amy Pietz Turns 48!! March 6
National Be Heard Day March 7
A day for the 145 million small business owners to be heard and publicize themselves. www.beheardday.com
Monopoly Invented March 7, 1933
Jenna Fischer Turns 42!! And Taylor Dayne Turns 54!!! March 7
International Working Women’s Day March 8
Why get caught in the trap of focusing on secretaries, nurses or lunch ladies. Honor them all with a big brunch or after-work party. This is a national holiday in Russia and China, where flowers are traditionally presented as gifts to women workers.
National Proofreading Day March 8
Seriously, take a day and spent some time look at your sites and social media. One of the stations had eblasts that were written by someone who spoke English as a 5th language. www.nationalproofreadingday.com
Peabody Award Winning Promotional Consultant Turns &%$#@!! March 8
Start Your Mid-Life Crisis Day March 9
Celebrated in Scandia, Minnesota, celebrants dump their wives, buy a sports car, wear Members Only jackets, and date hot Canadian street-teamers.
Panic Day March 9
An average morning in the Sales Department. Take this opportunity to run around shrieking and flailing your arms in the air. The Roys will do just that if you don’t call them at 717-279-0184.
Barbie Debuts: Anniversary March 9
Over 800 million have been sold since her “birth” on this date in 1959. This also begs the question: what little boy did NOT take his sisters’ Barbie and make her commit unnatural acts with GI Joe. (I’m just asking.)
Name Tag Day March 9
My absolutely favorite part of this Chases Almanac description of a day to celebrate your name by wearing one of those “Hi! My name is (blank)” tags, is “This is not for unsupervised children”.
Mario Day March 10
A day to honor all Mario’s, wherever they may be, and whatever they may mar. Call Mario Fascitelli at 505-293-2634.
Telephone Invention: 151st Anniversary March 10
Radio contests haven’t been the same since. Alexander Graham Bell transmitted the first telephone call to his assistant in the other room: “Mr. Watson, come here, I want you”. Of course very few people have ever realized the context in which he meant “I want you”, making this the official first obscene phone call and was entered into evidence at his meeting with HR.
International Bag Pipe Day March 10
“Piper down!” www.bagpipesociety.org.uk
World’s Largest Rattlesnake Roundup March 10-12
If it involves snakes, snake meat, snake races, snake recipes, snake crafts or snake hunting, then Sweetwater, Texas is where you want to be. Be sure to join in the fun as everyone sucks venom out of each others’ legs the last day. www.rattlesnakeroundup.com
Sixth Anniversary Of The Japan Earthquake and Tsunami March 11
International Fanny Pack Day March 11
Nick Yates of Boise considers a fanny pack to be a “fashion essential”. Nick also travels with his airline tickets in a clear plastic envelope that he wears on a lanyard. Yates_nick@hotmail.com
“COPS” Premieres March 11, 1989
Also the first use of “Why you doin’ this? I din’t do nothing!”
Moshoeshoe’s Day In Lesotho March 12
Daylight Savings Time March 12 – November 5
Check Your Batteries Day March 12
Smoke detectors, remotes, vibrators; this is the day to make sure their batteries are fresh and charged.
Termite Awareness Week March 12-18
Termite, or not termite, that is the question. Created by Pest World, a really unfortunately named family attraction in Daytona Beach. www.pestworld.org
Deaf History Month March 13-April 15
K9 Veterans Day March 13
Smart And Sexy Day March 13
One of those positive affirmation things. www.thewomensalliance.org and speaking of which…
Dana Delaney Turns 61!! March 13
National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day March 13
This has something to do with testing your luck. I stopped reading too much into these things about ten years ago. email@example.com
Mattel Introduces The Ken Doll March 13, 1961
Uranus Discovered March 13, 1781
It just writes itself.
Fill Our Staplers Day March 13
Created by the Dull Men’s Club as a time killer. www.dullmensclub.com
National Workplace Napping Day March 13
Straight out of “Seinfeld”. www.napping.com
International Brain Awareness Week March 13-19
I’d do Brain Freeze Awareness and have listeners chug Mister Misty’s from Dairy Queen. But then, I liked the “Hangover 3”. Call 212-401-1680.
Organize Your Home Office Day March 14
My annual day to pick up all the beer cans and throw them in a pile on the front lawn. 34 million Americans have home offices. Learn more then you want to know at www.homeofficelife.com
Moth-er Day March 14
A day to honor moths. Moth collectors. Moth specialists. All while experiencing a full body shiver. 703-533-3668.
Rick Dees Turns 66!!!! March 14 “That’s aMAZING!”
“Three’s Company” Debuts March 15, 1977 (Why can’t Richard Kline get any good roles?)
“Wonder Years” Debuts March 15, 1988 (Why can’t Jason Hervey get any good roles?)
True Confessions Day March 15
This has “morning show” written all over it. Allow a listener to purge him/herself of guilt by getting on the air and spilling it all.
Brutus Day March 15
Annually on the Ides of March, celebrate your co-workers who stab you in the back.
“Gumby” TV Show Premieres March 16, 1957
My brothers ripped the arms off my Gumby. Which goes a LONG way to explaining me.
Lips Appreciation Day March 16
Another Roy holiday. I give up. 717-274-0184.
No Selfies Day March 16
Observed on the birthday of Philippe Kahn, the inventor of the cell phone camera and the first person known to transmit a photo: a birth picture of his daughter taken in 1997 with his cell phone. Annually on Mar 16.
Campfire Girls: Anniversary March 17, 1910
St. Patrick’s Day March 17
There’s nothing like a good excuse to drink watered down beer that someone’s dyed green.
Corndog Day March 18
Or “Pronto Pups” to the non-Minnesotan heathens.
Electric Razor First Marketed March 18, 1931
Forgive Mom & Dad Day March 18
What parent hasn’t made an occasional mistake or screwup? Why, just last week I tied the girls to a rope in the yard so they could play and forgot about them until the neighbor called that night to say it sounded like a wounded animal was out in our field. Whoops!!! Big laughs. This is the day that kids call up their parents and forgive them. I’m going to visit my mom at “the home” and tell her that third grade, when she used to send me to school with “I Wet My Bed” written in crayon on my forehead, is behind me now. After years of therapy, I’m cool with it.
Awkward Moments Day March 18
If this doesn’t have “Morning Show Topic” written all over it, I don’t know what does. Call Wayne or Laura at 860-887-7054.
Irene Cara Turns 58 and Adam Levine Turns 38!! March 18
I was at Best Buy in the music section and asked where I could find Irene Cara. They said she was in back stocking shelves. (This joke is officially stolen from a morning guy)
Operation Iraqi Freedom Begins March19, 2003
Snowman Burning March 20
The students at Lake Superior State University celebrate the first day of Spring with poetry, partying and the burning of a snowman. Call 906-635-2315.
National Fix A Leak Week March 20 – 26
Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day March 20
In honor of Fred Rogers’ birthday, Christina Costain wants you to wear a sweater and be a good neighbor. I kid you not. www.fci.org/neighbor
Kiss Your Fiance Day March 20
“No tongue!” slewww.kissyourfianceday.com
Great American Meatout March 20
Like the Great American Smokeout, people are urged to give up red meat for one day to help publicize animal abuse and other destructive impacts of intensive animal agriculture on human health and natural resources. Call the Farm Animal Reform Movement at 301-530-1737. I’m pledging to not wear any clothes made from meat on this date. Nor, fill my cars tank with it.
Spring March 20-June 19
Proposal Day March 20
If you’ve been holding back and waiting for the opportunity to pop the big question, this is your lucky day. Annually on the first day of Spring unmarried adults everywhere are encouraged to propose marriage. John Michael O’Laughlin can give you the scoop on this holiday. 972-258-4996. An obvious idea would be to help someone with a proposal and either do it on the air or via a skywriter or billboard.
Act Happy Week March 20-26
This was created by a doctor who believes that happy people live longer. Call 651-484-5162
Independence Day In Namibia March 21
World Down Syndrome Day March 21
Memory Day March 21
I genuinely tried to follow the description of this in Chases, but got absolutely nowhere with it. Why not give Bob Birch a call and let him walk you through it? 703-533-3668.
National Single Parent Day March 20
Twitter Day March 20
United Nations: International Day For The Elimination Of Racial Descrimination
Kevin Federline Turns 39!!!! March 21
Laser Patented March 22, 1960
“Are those frickin’ lasers on frickin’ shark’s heads?”
As Young As You Feel Day March 22
Sponsored by the Roys, who are aging me by the minute. 717-279-0184
International Goof-Off Day March 22
As if we need an excuse. Call Monica at 810-658-7877
Reese Witherspoon Turns 41!!! March 22 (I was into Reese before it was cool to be into Reese)
National Puppy Day March 23
The other red meat. The goal of today is to have 10,000 puppies be adopted from shelters. www.nationalpuppyday.com
Near Miss Day March 23, 1989
On this date a mountain sized asteroid passed within 500,000 miles of Earth, which is a very close call according to NASA. The impact would have been equal to 40,000 hydrogen bombs, created a crater the size of the District of Columbia, and devastated everything for 100 miles in all directions. “Good morning evrehbuddy!” With last week’s miss, this is worthy of mentioning because of the size.
Richard Grieco Turns 52!! And Keri Russell Turns 41!!! March 23
Exxon Valdez Oil Spill Anniversary March 24, 1989
Earth Hour March 25
Over a billion people in 4000 cities worldwide will turn off their electricity for one hour starting at 8:30 am local time. www.worldwidelife.org
Elton John Turns 70!!! March 25
Make Up Your Own Holiday Day March 26
This is the day that you can name for anything that pops into your head; how about “Pops Into Your Head Day”? Of course, all the good days like Martyrs Day are already taken. You’ll just have to be more creative. Call those darn Roys at 717-279-0184.
Kenny Chesney Turns 50!! And Jennifer Grey Turns 57!!! March 26
Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day March 27
Might be the day to do Country Music Title Or Not. “I Done Did Your Sister And I’m All A’hatin Myself Fors It.” Not a Country music title. But it should be.
Julia Stiles Turns 36!!!and Lady Gaga Turns 31!! March 28
Three Mile Island Nuclear Power Plant Accident Anniversary March 28, 1979
Weed Appreciation Day March 28
(The lawn kind, not the other kind)
National Mom And Pop Business Owners Day March 29
“National Mom And Pop Business Owners Day” has been purchased by Haliburton and use of the name without the express written permission of the corporation will result in a lawsuit. Call Rick or Margie at 781-272-9995.
Pencil Patented March 30, 1858
Root Canal Awareness Week March 30 – April 5
“Is it safe?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP-Nlb549J8
MC Hammer Turns 54!!! March 30 (The Hammer needs love. And money.)
Ronald Reagan Assassination Attempt Anniversary March 30, 1981
International Hug A Medievalist Day March 31
National “She’s Funny That Way” Day March 31
Brenda Meredith with Dahomey Publishing wants you to honor and recognize the humorous and unique qualities of the women in your life. Brenda NEEDS one. (Life). BMeredith@aol.com