National Coupon Month Sept. 1-30
I have a friend who went on a date with a comic in LA. He arrived to pick her up and started pulling out all his coupons. That was their only date. Call Stacie McAnuff at 734-591-7375.
Responsible Dog Ownership Month Sept 1-30
Sponsored by the American Kennel Club. email@example.com
Square Dancing Month Sept. 1-30
What kind of sadist had elementary school kids square dancing? Scarred me. Scarred me for life.
International Enthusiasm Week Sept. 1-7
Yeah! I’ve been waiting and waiting for this week to roll around. And now that’s it’s here, I’m so excited that I don’t know what to do first. Maybe I’ll go and flock the tree. Or go and carve the turkey. Oh, geez, I’m wasting time. It’s almost over. Help! 305-931-3237.
National Service Dog Month September 1-30
Random Acts Of Kindness Day September 1
Randomly pick someone to do something completely random for. Or against.
Library Card Sign-Up Month Sept. 1-30
Sponsored by the American Library Association. 312-280-5043.
The Million Minute Family Challenge Sept. 1 – Dec. 31
The 14th annual celebration of family bonding through board games. Play and add your families totals at www.millionminute.com
International People Skills Month Sept. 1 – 31
I have people skills, damn it!
Happy Cat Month Sept. 1 – 31
Happy cats make tasty cats. www.catalystcouncil.org
Emma M. Nutt Day Sept. 1
A day to honor the first woman telephone operator. Emma started her job on this date in 1878 in Boston and worked for 33 years.
Korean Airlines Flight 007 Shotdown: Anniversary Sept. 1, 1983
Fall Hat Month Sept. 1-30
The lobbyists at The Headwear Information Bureau suggest that this month we put aside our straw hats in favor of felt or fabric hats. They still get a chuckle out of Billy’s antics every Sunday in “A Family Circus”. www.hatsworldwide.com
Skin Care Awareness Month Sept. 1-30
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again. 972-248-6131
Chicken Month 202-296-2622
Honey Month 303-776-2337
Fruit & Veggies Month
Mushroom Month 212-420-8808
Rice Month 713-270-6699
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder 415-479-8628
Atrial Fibrillation www.StopAFib.org
Childhood Cancer www.bearnecessities.org
Cholesterol Education Month http://www.cdc.gov/cholesterol/cholesterol_education_month.htm
Gynecological Cancer 312-578-1439
National Pediculosis Prevention Month (a nice way of saying “lice”)
Ovarian Cancer 888-OVA-RIAN
Spinal Cord Injury 877-452-6231
Sickle Cell 800-435-6004
Pleasure Your Mate Month Sept. 1-30
Why not a “Measure Your Mate Month”? This is supposed to promote love and appreciation for all that your mate brings to the relationship. But I’m sure that there are dozens of ways that we can drag this down to the most base and vile levels imaginable. Can you get a sex therapist or surrogate on the air and talk about techniques and methods for increasing pleasure? I’ve got loads of numbers for some good morning show guests for this topic if you’re interested. In the meantime, call Donald Etkes for his views on this month that he created. 909-981-7333.
Backpack Safety Month Sept. 1-30
The Association of Really Nervous Parents® submits this reminder that a carelessly packed backpack can maim, decapitate or injure your child and the children around him. Or her. And it. Call John Carroll at 800-672-4277. Or go to www.backpacksafe.com
Baby Safety Month Sept. 1-30
With thousands of unexploded babies still littering the landscape in places like SE Asia, this is the month to remind ourselves to look where we step. www.jpma.org
Update Your Resume Month Sept. 1-30
What have you heard? Am I being fired? Am I being downsized? For God’s sake tell me. (Now see, I wouldn’t be so freaked out if I’d taken time to get my resume updated. I wonder if I can get a letter of recommendation from the crew at White Castle.) Call Laura at 800-715-3442.
Shameless Promotion Month Sept. 1-30
Only an e-mail like the Promotions Paiges would be so attentive to details and so concerned for the radio stations it reaches, that it would include such a holiday as this. Yep. The Promotions Paiges are pretty darn great. Call Marisa D’Vari, who doesn’t work for the Promotions Paiges, for the scoop at 617-451-9914 or at 800-PROMOTIONS-PAIGES.
Subliminal Communications Month Sept. 1-30
You know, if you’re a CPR station, for just a little bit more you could hire Jerry “full blown” and get Colleen with the Music, Clifton with the overall guru-thing and of course me. If you call write now, in fact, I’ll send you a hooker. Call now. Operators are standing by. Mileage and hookers may vary. Or, call Lorrie Walters Marsiglio at 630-584-9368.
Piano Month Sept. 1-30
Google ‘Jimmy “the Beard” Ferrozzo ‘
One On One Month Sept. 1-30
A month to focus on getting to know your friends and coworkers better. www.ConfidenceCenter.com But not in a Jimmy “The Beard” Ferrozzo kind of way.
National Lazy Moms Day September 1
If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
VJ Day Sept. 2
Japan officially surrendered on this date in 1945, thus ending World War II.
Bison-Ten-Yell Day Sept. 2
I’d try to explain this to you but you’d call the State of Minnesota who would show up and immediately demand a urine test. It’s a stretch and let’s just leave it at that. Call Bob Birch with the Puns Corps at 703-533-3668 and let him walk you through it.
Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week Sept 3-9
Switch everyone’s names on their jock bios.
Bacon Day Sept. 3
Salma Hayak Turns 51!!!! and Linda Purl Turns 62!!! Sept. 2
Newspaper Carrier Day Sept. 4
Ten year old Barney Flaherty became the first paperboy on this date in 1833 in NYC.
Paul Harvey Born Sept. 4, 1918
Beyonce Turns 36!!!! Sept. 4 (Solange is trying to get the day off from the food court)
Great Bathtub Race Sept. 4
The trophy for this annual athletic competition in Nome, Alaska is a statuette of Kermit and Ms. Piggy taking a bath. Five person teams (four pushers and one bather) race down Front Street. The tubs have to be full when they start and still have at least ten gallons left when they cross the finish line. Call 907-443-2798. (Richmond Crinkley, Corporate Legal Counsel for CPR states: This is just dangerous. And immature. They could get wrinkles from being in the water for too long! Or they could stumble and skin their knees. If we could find a way to do this in the VIP Club, then and only then, will I sign off on it)
Labor Day Sept. 4 (in the US and Canada)
National Suicide Prevention Week Sept. 4-10
Letters From Mom Week Sept. 5-8
Annually the week after Labor Day, mothers are encouraged to send their kids off to school with little notes of love and appreciation to get them through the back-to-school transition. I saved one of mine from fourth grade and have it posted in my office so I can always remember my mom’s love and support for her youngest: “Listen you little bastard, if I get ONE, just ONE call from a teacher about you, I will beat the literal snot out of you.”
Be Late For Something Day Sept. 5
Sponsored by the Procrastinators of America. Call Les Waas at 215-947-9020.
Jo Anne Worley Turns 80!!!!! September 6
Salami Day September 7
Google Founded Sept. 7, 1998
I still think it’s a lot of hype and yet to see any evidence to counter that.
National Ampersand Day September 8
“Oprah” Debuts: 31st Anniversary September 8, 1986
Pardon Day: Anniversary Sept. 8
On this date in 1974 Gerald Ford pretty much destroyed any prospects at getting re-elected when he pardoned Richard Nixon.
Popeye Picnic Sept. 8-10
Big fun in Chester, Illinois as they celebrate their 34th of celebrating E.C. Segar, a local who done good and made himself famous’er than Capt. Kangaroo. How? He was the creator of the Popeye comics. If you can think of a Popeye or a Popeye character-related activity, they probably do it. Www.popeyepicnic.com
National Dog Walker Appreciation Day Sept. 8
My niece bought her first used beater of a car with money she’d saved doing this in her neighborhood in Kansas City.
“Star Trek” First Broadcast: 51st Anniversary Sept. 8
Heather Thomas Turns 61!!! and Henry Thomas Turns 46!!! And Jonathon Taylor Thomas Turns 37!!! Sept. 8 (coincidence?)(oh, and Pink Turns 38!!!)
Wonderful Weirdos Day Sept. 9
Don’t hide your weirdness. Embrace it. Become one with it. Share it. 717-279-0184.
International Buy A Priest A Beer Day September 9
Opposite Day September 9
A day to do the opposite (not including breathing or driving on the correct side of the road)
Colonel Sanders Would Have Been 137! September 9
National Grandparents Day Sept. 10
National Hug Your Hound Day Sept. 10
Tragically not a euphemism. A day to enjoy the cohabitation of dogs and humans in the urban landscape. www.dogdoright.com
Swap Ideas Day Sept. 10
And if they won’t swap with you, then steal them. Call Bob Birch at 703-533-3668.
September 11th: The Sixteenth Anniversary Of WTC and Pentagon Attacks
Virginia Madsen Turns 54! Ludacris Turns 40!!! and Kristy McNichol Turns 55! Sept. 11
Food Stamps First Issued Sept. 11, 1959 (Should be an official Radio holiday)
Pet Rock Day September 11
National Boss/Employee Exchange Day Sept. 11
Cool idea. Very morning showable. I’m going to spend the day in Vancouver hanging out with attractive artsy people who wear a lot of black, and she’ll be up here in Scandia, moving piles of dirt around my field.
Line Dance Week Sept. 11-16
Shirley Mitchell says that line dancing is a great way to exercise and meet people. Shirley needs to get out more. Smitc87213@aol.com
National Police Woman’s Day September 12
Amy Yasbeck Turns 54!!! And Joe Pantoliano (Guido the Killer Pimp) Turns 63! Sept. 12
Kids Take Over The Kitchen Day September 13
Kids are encouraged to venture into the kitchen and get more involved on the production, rather than the consuming side of things. www.youngchefsacademy.com
International Chocolate Day September 13
“Scooby Doo” Premieres September 13, 1969 (Introduced the line “And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids” to our vernacular)
Faith Ford Turns 53!! And Dan Cortese Turns 50 (Step off George) Sept. 14
Tommy Lee Jones Turns 71!!!! September 15 (“Doctor…Richard…Kimball!!!”)
National 8-Track Tape Day September 15
Hug Your Boss Day Sept. 15
Also known as “Hug Your Way To A Mandatory Meeting With HR Day”. https://www.facebook.com/hugyourboss/
National Hispanic Heritage Month Sept. 15 – Oct. 15
“USA Today” First Published Sept. 15, 1982
Millions of annoying “thwaps” outside of hotel room doors at 5 am later, they’re still around.
King Turkey Days Sept. 15-16
Over 30,000 people will gather in Worthington, Minnesota to watch some of God’s dumbest creatures try to navigate an obstacle course. If there was ever a clearer statement on life in Worthington, I don’t know what it would be. 800-279-2919.
United Nations: Intl. Day For The Preservation Of The Ozone Layer Sept. 16
National Gymnastics Day September 16
National Tattoo Story Day September 16
Points are deducted if alcohol and heartache are not part of the story.
International Coastal Cleanup Sept. 16
Half a million people will pick up ten millions pieces of trash along 21,000 miles of beaches in 70 countries. Great concept. Get involved.
Flax Scutching Festival Sept. 16-17
I don’t know what this is but I bet it involves Crisco. www.flaxscutching.org
M*A*S*H Premieres (it went downhill the moment Hawkeye got preachy) Sept. 17, 1972
National Football League Formed Sept. 17, 1920
International Clean Hands Week Sept. 17-23
The germaphobes at the Clean Hands Coalition can not possibly stress enough the importance of hand hygiene. This is the week to torture a co-worker with germ issues. Go to www.cleanhandscoalition.org for the dirt, uh, scoop on this week.
National Singles Week Sept. 17-23
If you watch enough beer commercials or Amy Grant videos, it appears obvious that the best place to meet another single is at a laundromat. Host a Singles Night at a laundromat and supply the condoms and quarters. But hold the starch. Call the Singles Press at 602-788-6001.
Cassandra Peterson (Elvira) Turns 65!! Sept. 17
U.S. Takes Out Its First Loan: Anniversary Sept. 18, 1789
National Cheeseburger Day September 18
National Prostate Cancer Awareness Week Sept. 18-24
This is the week to give your dad the finger. Go to www.pcaw.com
Hug A Greeting Card Writer Day Sept. 18
Clearly a thinly veiled ploy to elicit some usually-inappropriate contact. www.greetingcardwriting.com
Randolph Mantooth Turns 72!!! Sept. 19 (Holy AARP, Batman!!!)
Talk Like A Pirate Day Sept. 19
Really, by far, the most annoying “date”. These two idiots got on the freakin’ TODAY SHOW with it in 2003. Give me a break. Call John Baur at 541-928-3513.
Kristen Johnson Turns 50!! September 20
Monday Night Football Premieres September 21, 1970
Bill Murray Turns 67!! and Nancy Travis Turns 56!!!! Sept. 21
American Business Woman’s Day Sept. 22
“Charlies Angels” Premieres Sept. 22, 1976
14 Year-Old Boys Begin Locking Themselves In The Bathroom For Extended Periods Of Time Sept. 22, 1976
“Friends” Premieres Sept. 22, 1994
Dear Diary Day Sept. 22
Have listeners read excerpts from their kids/siblings diaries. 717-279-0184.
The 114th Birthday Of The Ice Cream Cone Sept. 22
Itallo Marciony was a street vendor in New York City who first used rolled paper, and later baked pastry, to hold ice cream. He filed for a patent (#746971) on September 22, 1903 and it was issued on December 15, 1903.
Bonnie Hunt Turns 53!! (and we’re walking and we’re walking) Sept. 22
Autumn Sept. 22 – Dec. 20
Celebrate Bisexuality Day Sept. 23
Fish Amnesty Day Sept. 23
All we are saying, is give fish a chance. Don’t fish today. But in a PPM world…?
“The Love Boat” Premieres Sept. 24, 1977
There were actually only four plot lines: a crew member’s parents are on the boat and he/she has to switch places with Stubing because they’d told their parents that they were the captain; two guys/girls fight over one guy/girl; a daughter takes her mother on a cruise to introduce her to her fiance…who turns out to be her long missing father. And Julie’s busted by Doc for forging Xanax prescriptions.
National Punctuation Day (!) September 24
Why would Jeff Rubin create this? BTW: he’s the founder/creator of the “date”. Seriously!! This has great morning show potential; maybe for a bit? www.nationalpunctuationday.com
Gold Star Mothers Day September 24
National One Hit Wonder Day Sept. 25
Steven Rosen, the editor of One Shot Magazine honors the one hit wonders of the music industry and believes that anyone who ever had a hit single deserves eternal remembrance. This is a guy who probably is still holding onto a ticket stub from an Outfield concert and goes to Sam Goody once a week to check if anything new from Perfect Gentlemen has come in. 303-783-4720.
Heather Locklear Turns 55!!! Sept. 25 (The only reason to watch TJ Hooker)
Love Note Day September 26
Perhaps this is the day where listeners dig out the creepiest love notes they’ve ever received and send them in to be voted on. Clearly not what Leona Hamel, the Mind behind Love Note Day had intended. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
Melissa Sue Anderson Turns 55!!!! September 26
“Gilligans Island”, “Hawaii 5” and “Brady Bunch” Premiere Sept. 26, 1964, 1968 &1969
National Woman Road Warrior Day Sept. 27
Celebrates and honors the women out there who live the Road Warrior lifestyle: bad hotel coffee, late flights, rooms next to the ice machine and missed wakeup calls. Ah…the glamorous life! Go to www.womanroadwarrior.com This is also a great opportunity to give a shameless plug to my boutique project http://hotelnightmares.com
World Tourism Day September 27
And yes, even North Korea has a tourism bureau. http://www.koryogroup.com/
National Drink Beer Day September 28
First Night Football Game Sept. 28, 1892
Played between Mansfield Normal School (now Mansfield University) and Wyoming Seminary.
World Rabies Day Sept. 28
Honors our rabid friends and listeners. www.worldrabiesday.org
Jeffrey Jones Turns 70!! And Gwyneth Paltrow Turns 44!!! Sept. 28
Dow Jones Biggest Drop Sept. 29, 2008
778 points. Yow.
International Coffee Day September 29
National Attend Your Grandchild’s Birth Day Sept. 29
I just see this getting out of hand as gram and gramps fight over who gets to do the episiotomy. Call Carolyn Zorn at 818-889-8377.
Save The Koala Day September 30
Hug A Vegan Day September 29
National Ghost Hunting Day Sept. 30
Crystal Bernard Turns 52!! Sept. 30