Ellis Island Opened: Anniversary January 1, 1892
20,000,000 people were processed through this point of embarkation before it closed in 1954.
National Clean Up Your Computer Month January 1-31
Take time to scrub all those Russian naturist cookies out of your hard drive, and while you’re at it, find more efficient uses for your system. Call Denise Hall at 251-986-6650.
Be Kind To Food Servers Month Jan. 1-31
Ask Rob Morris about the time that Food Service Union “representatives” showed up in the lobby at KDWB todiscuss their “disappointment” with Dave Ryan’s topic that morning: not tipping if your service sucked. I’m sure that Sybil Presley will have opinions if you shot her an email at [email protected]
Hangover Handicap Run January 1
Klamath Falls, Oregon is the place where hundreds of stinking-of-booze men and women will race through the streets in hopes of winning a beer can trophy. It sounds like just about any Tuesday night in Scandia. Call 541-882-6922 for the odds.
Diet Resolution Week January 1-7
Congrats to the Vegetarian Awareness Network for getting the jump on all the other Diet Dates. Offer them their due kudos and accolades and veal pitas at 877-VEG-DIET
National Skating Month Jan. 1-31 (“Toe pick!”)
If you do, do. If you don’t, learn. Sponsored by the US Figure Skating Council. Usfsa.org
National Mentoring Month January 1-31
www.mentoring.org “Banya’s her mentor??”
International Creativity Month January 1-31
One of my favorite quotes from a GM: “I don’t put much stock in creativity” to which is I wish I’d replied, “I can tell. I listened to the station this weekend.” But I was still young and needy. www.creativitymonth.com
Self-Love Month January 1-31
A month to be kinder to yourself. Dayle Deanna even has a 31 Days Of Self-Love Challenge, which I think I saw on Seinfeld. Www.howdoiloveme.com
Hot Tea www.teausa.org
All Thing Bowlable:
Citrus Bowl January 1 (407-423-2476)
Outback Bowl January 1 (813-874-2695)
Rose Bowl January 1 (626-449-4100)
Vagisil Pomegranate Bowl January 1 (651-433-4554)
Sugar Bowl January 1 (504-525-8573)
Play Station Fiesta Bowl January 1 (480-350-0900)
Circumcision Of Christ: Anniversary January 1 (Ow!!)
National Glaucoma Awareness Month January 1-31
Call the folks at Prevent Blindness America at 800-331-2020.
Teen Driving Awareness Month January 1-31
Reminds us that traffic collisions are the leading cause of death among drivers 16-25. www.ntsi.com
National Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month January 1-31
A good topic, especially with women. They’ll not only teach you how to beat the living crap out of an attacker, but also how to avoid getting into those situations. Call 305-868-6734.
National Stalking Awareness Month January 1-31
In theory, if you do it correctly, they shouldn’t be aware you’re doing it. First proclaimed by President Obama in 2011.
Emancipation Proclamation: Anniversary January 1
On January 1, 1863 by proclamation, President Lincoln freed all the slaves in the rebelling states.
National Be On-Purpose Month January 1-31
US Partners in Winter Park, Florida encourages us to start the new year by putting our good intentions into action, trading confusion for clarity, and balancing our lives with meaning and clarity. Basically they’re insinuating that our personal and professional lives are a shambles. Call them at 407-657-6000 and tell them where to put their month.
Walk Your Dog Month January 1-31
“Walk” don’t “wok”.
New Years Resolutions Week January 1-8
I’m terrible with these. That whole “I’ll quit shooting heroin” thing lasted less then an hour. Maybe this year. Anyway, I digress. Call Gary Ryan Blair (who resolves to have four first names next year) with the Blair Leadership Group at 800-731-GOAL.
New Years Dishonor List January 1
On this day annually Lake Superior State University announces its list of words that it wants banished from the English language. These are words and phrases that got over-used in the previous year. Like “Fail”, “Spoiler alert” and “trending” http://www.lssu.edu/banished/
National Volunteer Blood Donor Month January 1-31
Z Day January 1
The one day a year that everyone who gets listed alphabetically last can get some recognition. Call Tom (surprise!) Zager at 810-268-2856 and encourage him to see someone professionally about these feelings of persecution that he suffers from.
National Buffet Day January 2
Who’s down with OCB? Yeah you know me.
Happy Mew Years For Cats Day January 2
For people who really like their cats and want to create little holidays for their feline housemates, then this is right up your alley. Call The Roys at 717-279-0184.
55 MPH Speed Limit Anniversary January 2, 1974
“Someday We’ll Laugh About This” Week January 2-8
Sponsored by the Humor Project (which operates out of a secret underground government base in the Nevada Desert)(or not), call them at 518-587-8770.
National Science Fiction Day January 2
Jim Bakker Turns 79!! January 2
First Female Congressional Page Jan. 3, 1939
“The Arsenio Hall Show” Debuts January 3, 1989
Drinking Straw Patented January 3, 1888
Student Loses Eye In Lunchroom Spitball Melee January 3, 1888
Danica McKellar Turns 44!!! January 3
World Hypnotism Day January 4
Before there were rufie’s there was hypnotism. And before there was Jennifer Aniston, there was…
Dyan Cannon Turns 82!!!! And Dave Foley Turns 57!!! January 4
Pop Music Chart Introduced: 82nd Anniversary January 4
Billboard Magazine published the first charts on this date in 1936. On the list were recordings by Tommy Dorsey and the Ozzie Nelson orchestras. Color Me Badd’s “I Adore Mi Amore” debuted at #43, right behind Sherm Bohen and his Happy Pennsylvanian Trio, later accused of reaching #42 solely on the basis of “paper adds” and Fed Ex’s of blow.
Dimpled Chad Day January 4
The first post-election 2000 recognition to appear in Chases.
Trivia Day January 4
Celebrates all of us who are obsessed with useless bits of information. Call Robert Birch at 703-533-3668 and ask him what U.S. state has the most shoreline.
World Braille Day January 4
Amnesty For Polygamists: Anniversary January 4, 1893
Granted by President Benjamin Harrison, this still doesn’t stop the people in Scandia from giving me and the wives dirty looks when we go into town to shop.
Five-Dollar-A-Day Minimum Wage January 5, 1914
Henry Ford instituted this and in Radio it’s making a return.
Great Fruitcake Toss January 5
Many of you may have already tossed them, so-to-speak. They do this in Manitou Springs, Colorado. 800-642-2567. This is SUCH a Radio bit.
Wheel Of Fortune Debuts January 5, 1974
No Pants Subway Ride January 6
This is the 18th annual event hosted by an improv group in NYC where they encourage people to commute sans pants. https://improveverywhere.com/
Home Office Safety & Security Week Jan. 6-12
Here at the world headquarters for CPR, we take office security seriously. Entrance to our suites on the 33rd and 34th floors of the fabulous Grange Building in downtown Scandia are by keypad codes. The floors are equipped with three stairways that are fire tested and approved. And computer passwords are randomly generated and changed every second Monday of the month. For more on this weighty subject, go to www.chiefhomeofficer.com
Joey Lauren Adams Turns 48!!!!! January 6
Golden Globes January 7
Bobblehead Day January 7
I’m Not Going To Take It Anymore Day! January 7
Stand up to rude customer service people, tell off your boss, take control of events in your life. The girl who sells tokens for the preview booths at S*x World? I’m finally going to give her an earful about her nasty attitude. Call consumer advocate Bob O’Brien at 201-860-1595.
National Thank God It’s Monday! Day January 7
I have no idea what this is about. But I bet Dorothy Zjawan can give you glimpse into her Bizarro World and explain the meaning of this. 908-241-6241.
Katie Couric Turns 61! And Dustin Diamond Turns 41!! January 7
National Joygerm Day January 8
I’ve been staring at the description of this in Chases for at least ten minutes and I have no idea where to begin to tackle it. Basically this was founded by and for people who are just too damn perky for their own good. Call Joygerm Junkie Joan White at 315-472-2779 and find out what kind of mood elevators she’s on.
Show And Tell Day At Work January 8
This could get ugly. I can attest to that. To paraphrase the leader of Mind Head in “Bowfinger”, you must never show it to the Laker Girls. Call the Roys at 717-279-0184.
Law Enforcement Appreciation Day January 9
National Static Electricity Day January 9
Peculiar People Day January 10
1/10 is annually the date to celebrate the people who are nonconformists and just a little left-of-center.
National Cut Your Energy Costs Day January 10
Considering that I’m one step away from selling my kid’s organs on eBay to pay for heating the farm, this would seem to be topical. www.cutyourenergycosts.com has some good suggestions that are easy for your listeners to implement.
U.S. Surgeon General Declares Cigarettes Hazardous January 11, 1964
Designated Hitter Rule: Anniversary January 11, 1973
Wouldn’t it be cool if they initiated Ghost Runners and Do Overs?
Amanda Peet Turns 47!!! And Stanley Tucci Turns 59!!! January 11
Kiss A Ginger Day January 12
Radio Broadcasting’s 109th Anniversary January 13
On this date in 1910, Lee DeForest succeeded in broadcasting the voice of Enrico Caruso along with the stars of the Metropolitan Opera to several receiving locations in New York City. The broadcast was sponsored by a softdrink and was interrupted for some sixty second breaks from a car dealership remote.
Penelope Ann Miller Turns 55!!! January 13
National Clean-Off-Your-Desk Day January 14
If you’re only obliged to do it once a year, then I guess that Jason Bateman’s 49th birthday is as good a day as any. Blame this on A.C. Moeller. 810-687-0423.
Dress Up Your Pet Day January 14
First Caesarean Section January 14, 1794
“The Today Show” Premieres January 14, 1952
First Super Bowl Green Bay beat Kansas City on January 15, 1967 in LA
Pitbull Turns 38 January 15
Bagel Day January 15
Rid The World Of Fad Diets And Gimmicks Day January 15
Another contribution from the people at the Healthy Weight Journal. On this date they’ll release the Slim Chance Awards – the worst weight loss promotions of last year. That number again; 701-567-2646.
National Nothing Day: Anniversary January 16
This is an event created by veteran newspaperman Harold Pullman Coffin and first observed on this date in 1973. The goal is “to provide American’s with one national day when they can just sit without celebrating, observing or honoring anything.”
Appreciate A Dragon Day January 16
Children in schools and at libraries will choose their favorite dragon from literature and create a project about it. Also the fourth January 16th since the 1970’s the Daryl Dragon has been single.
War Against Iraq Begins: Anniversary January 16, 1991
24th Anniversary Of The Osaka Earthquake In Japan January 17
25th Anniversary Of The LA Earthquake January 17
Ditch New Years Resolutions Day January 17
Someone, perhaps a scientis or that 1 out of 10 orthodontists who doesn’t like New Colgate, have decided that January 17th is the day most likely for you to bail on your resolution.
“Popeye” Debuts 90th Anniversary January 17
Jumped The Shark with the addition of Eugene The Jeep.
Zooey Deschanel Turns 39!! January 17
Get To Know Your Customer Day January 17
The third Thursday of January is a chance for executives to come out from behind their desks and join their sales people in going out into the field and cementing one-on-one relationships with their valued clients. Have someone at the national phonebank start scheduling these meetings. www.gettoknowyourcustomerday.
Jason Segel Turns 39! January 18
Popcorn Day January 19
International Fetish Day January 19
For everyone who has a fetish, whether it be (removed by corporate content filter), or (removed by corporate content filter), or (removed by corporate content filter) or dressing up as the Grimace while your spouse is the Hamburglar and (removed by corporate content filter). Go to www.internationalfetishday.com
National Disc Jockey Day January 20
Annually on Alan Freed’s birthday.
Camcorder Developed: 37th Anniversary January 20, 1982
Family vacations (and bachelor parties) have never been the same.
Healthy Weight Week January 20-26
Sugar Awareness Week January 20-26
The 8th annual recognition of a five day challenge to avoid sugar and monitor the effects it’s had on your health.
National Fresh Squeezed Juice Week Jan. 20-26
Still waiting on Beeks to get back with the crop reports. This is courtesy of Bob O’Brien, one of them danged “consumer advocates”. [email protected]
Bill Maher Turns 62!! And Rainn Wilson Turns 50!! January 20
Hunt For Happiness Week January 20-26
Sponsored by The Secret Society Of Happy People who still laugh at Billy’s antics in “Family Circus”.www.sohp.com
National Handwriting Week January 20-26
Power 96 is one of the stations that has had listeners send in examples of their fiances’, employers and friends’ handwriting to have it analyzed.
Clean Out Your Inbox Week January 20-26
MLK Day January 21
National Hugging Day January 21
This would be a great day to have the morning show out at a busy transit station, hugging people as they get off the bus/train for a busy and stressful day at work. Call Kevin Zaborney for more info on this very important holiday. 517-693-6666.
Wolfman Jack Born!!! January 21, 1938 (Are ya nekkid, baby?!)
Answer Your Cat’s Question Day January 22
Tom and Ruth Roy encourage you to sit down with your cat today and take the time to answer any serious or troubling questions that are bothering it. Call the Roys and remind them to get their Lithium prescription refilled today. 717-279-0184.
“Emergency!” Premieres January 22, 1972 (Give me an IV D5W Ringers, stat!!!)
Diane Lane Turns 53!! and Olivia D’Abo Turns 51!!!! January 22
Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day January 23
A favorite past-time of rural plow drivers everywhere.
National Pie Day January 23
Drop everything you are doing and make pie. Why? Because Chases Almanac says you should and Otis Redding would have wanted you to.
Talk Like A Grizzled Prospector Day January 24
Anniversary Of The First Canned Beer January 24
Introduced in Richmond, Virginia on this date in 1935. I’m taking the day off in honor of the occasion.
Belly Laugh Day January 24
Elaine Helle from lovely Lake Oswego, Oregon encourages everyone to join an international Belly Laugh Bounce ‘round the world. www.bellylaughday.com
National Compliment Day January 24
“That’s a beautiful housecoat Mrs. Cleever.” Call Katherine Chamberlin with Positive Results Seminars at 603-746-6227.
A Room Of One’s Own Day January 25
A day to celebrate having a place to flee to for whatever activity you can’t enjoy in front of your family. Or, just simple serenity. (“Serenity now!”) www.wellcat.com Bastards stole my idea of A Crawlspace Of One’s Own Day.
Opposite Day January 25
Dinah Manoff Turns 60!!! January 25
Dental Drill Patented January 26, 1875 (“Is it safe?”)
Cockroach Races January 26
In honor of Australia Day, this charity event is done at www.stonebridgehotel.com.au Damn Australia and their cool events.
Andrew Ridgely Turns 56 January 26
Fun At Work Day January 26
Chutes & Ladders, anyone? Call Diane Decker at 847-394-0994.
National Seed Swap Day January 26
Just testing your company’s filter. www.washingtongardener.com
Thomas Crapper Day January 27
The inventor of the flushing toilet died on this date in 1910. This has all the makings of a morning show bit. Perhaps you could broadcast from on the toilet. Or have people call in with strange and bizarre public restroom stories. George Michael music is a must.
Vietnam War Ended: Anniversary January 27, 1973
Bridget Fonda Turns 54!!! And Mimi Rogers Turns 62!!! January 27
Meat Week January 27-February 2
Since 2005 this celebration of meat, which began in the southern US, celebrates this clogger of arteries with picnics, barbecues and events featuring dishes prepared from things that probably celebrated Christmas just a few weeks before. www.meatweek.com
“Barnaby Jones” Premieres January 28, 1973
I watched it only for the scenes when he was involved in a footchase
Challenger Disaster Anniversary January 28, 1986
Sarah McLachlan Turns 51!!!! January 28
Grammys January 28
Heather Graham Turns 48!! (!) January 29
Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day January 29
If you haven’t wrapped an intern in bubble wrapped and rolled them down a flight of stairs, you haven’t lived. Wait…this sounds strangely like a Radio-initiated holiday. And that would be correct. Sir. Thanks to Todd and Denise of “The Wakeup Show” at WVNI in Bloomington, Illinois for this contribution. Call ‘em at 812-335-9500.
National Inane Answering Machine Message Day January 30
Don’t be so quick to dismiss this just because it comes from The Roys at the Wellness Permission League. Have listeners call in and narc on their friends who have really stupid messages on their machines, call them up and play them on the air. And that number once again is 717-279-0814.
First McDonalds Opens In The Soviet Union January 31, 1990
Stuart Margolin Turns 79!!! January 31 (“Angel!!!!!”)